


easy. {sequel to muse}

by ultsmrk



Series: — the “muse” collection; [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cliffhanger, F/M, Non-Smut, Pregnancy, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-23 23:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20897810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultsmrk/pseuds/ultsmrk
Summary: "Nobody said it was easy; no one ever said it would be this hard."Three months after Jaehyun left you, you return back to the place that ruined everything.





	1. I

**“Nobody said it was easy; no-one ever said it would be this hard.” -- ** ** _The Scientist, Coldplay_ **

  
  
  


Jaehyun had left you a week ago, walking out of the door after harshly tearing you down and never turning back. Of course, you can’t say you didn’t deserve such harsh words -- you  _ had  _ cheated on him, twice, and nearly left him for your best friend. But, you didn’t, which he didn’t appreciate being told in the moment. And, he still doesn’t appreciate it to this day.

He had returned a few times after a few weeks to collect his things, not speaking to you. The only words that filled your apartment were “hello” and “goodbye”, both of them were words  _ you  _ said to  _ him,  _ but he never returned them. It was a grating feeling to watch him walk around the apartment, grabbing all of his things and sorting them into bags. He couldn’t even bear to look at you, and any time you crossed his mind, he scowled and glared at you for a second or two, before shaking his head and going back to it.

But, once he was gone and the last lingering physicalities of Jung Jaehyun were gone from the apartment, you were alone. Alone, and haunted with regret. Every night in that big bed was torture, as you huddled in a ball on your side as if he were still there on his side. Every time you went into the kitchen, you could see him badly frying up some eggs, or pretending he was Gordon Ramsay and  _ ultimately  _ burning the ramen noodles.

Everything reminded you of him, and it was hell. Which is why it was a relief that most weekends, your best friend Jihyo would call and ask how you were doing. You and Jihyo became friends around the same time you met Jaehyun, but she got so busy eventually that the two of you stopped hanging around. But, after hearing what happened -- before hearing the how and why -- Jihyo was the only friendly voice for you. And, even after hearing the why, she stuck around, and you thanked her for it everyday.

“Y/N,” Jihyo asked, in her familiar caring tone. You sighed, as you laid back on your couch with a blanket draped over you, nursing a bucket of ice cream and watching any show on TV that would pique your interest for around five minutes before you eventually switched it to something else in a huff. “How is everything?”

“He took the last of his stuff this week.” You said, mumbling. “He still didn’t say anything to me. Although, I didn’t make much effort for a conversation.”

“Well, he’s probably still mad.” Jihyo reasoned. “I mean, you did cheat on him twice and almost leave him for the guy you cheated with. And, to be fair, if I was told that someone that I loved came back for me after willingly leaving me twice for something new, I would be pissed too.”

“Yeah. I’m aware, Jihyo, that that wasn’t my best moment.” You grumbled. “And if I could, I’d take it back. I’d take it all back.”

“Well, how are you doing now?” She asked. “Do you want me to come over so you can cry about it?”

“I don’t think I can really produce any more tears, to be honest.” You sighed, tired. “But, I don’t like living here anymore. Not now that all the memories are still in these walls. I can’t bear seeing the past in front of me.”

“Well, what are you gonna do? You know I’d  _ love  _ for you to stay with me, but I don’t really have the room anymore now that Daniel wants to move in. I love you, Y/N, but I also really like Daniel and I really think things might go somewhere.”

You sighed, remembering that those were your exact musings when Jaehyun was moving in with you.  _ And look where that ended up _ .

“I don’t really know what I’m gonna do. I  _ was  _ thinking of going back to  _ him _ -” You sighed, running a hand through your unkempt hair. “Johnny, I mean. But, do you think I should?”

“Well, how do you feel about him? Do you love him?”

“Of course. I’ll always love Johnny. But, I love Jaehyun more.” You chuckled to yourself. “Yeah, I know. It’s ironic that I’m still sticking by my decision even though he left me, and I’m definitely not gonna get him back, but those are my feelings. I just really want to get out of this place, out of this city, and start fresh. Besides, when I was with him that weekend, in a city where nobody knew me, it felt kinda nice.”

“At the end of the day, Y/N,” Jihyo said, offering her nugget of wisdom. “It’s all up to you. Jaehyun’s not around to tell you no anymore, and perhaps you can explore a new avenue with Johnny. That’s all I’m really gonna say on the matter. The ball is in your court.”

“Thanks.” You said with a sigh. You and Jihyo talked for a little while longer, mainly about her new relationship with Daniel. The two of them were very happy, and now that everyone had graduated, the two of them planned to move to Seoul to go into entertainment. Daniel wanted to produce, and Jihyo wanted to write music. A match made in heaven, you thought, as Jihyo soon apologised for leaving so quickly, because Daniel was going to be at her place with his suitcase, and the two of them were going to be leaving as soon as possible. 

When the conversation ended, and the apartment went quiet again, you let out a sigh. That’s what you were hating the most now; the quiet. Of course, when Jaehyun was around there would always be some silence, but it was a peaceful quiet. The two of you could be sat silently watching TV on the couch, but the comforting hand on your leg or the soft brushing of fingertips on your arm was enough words for you. This kind of quiet, however, you loathed. The empty quiet, where nobody was there to brush their fingertips up your arm or offer soft kisses on your jawline. 

So, that was what ultimately pushed your decision to pack everything up and go. You sold your apartment to the first person who offered a decent price; putting that money in your bank to take with you. You packed up all your things and left, getting the first plane to LA. Nerves filled your stomach like that very first time, but this time around, Johnny wasn’t there to collect you from arrivals.

You were insanely lucky that Johnny still lived in the same apartment. When you lugged your bags up the stairs and knocked on his door, you wished that Johnny wasn’t out. And, you of course wished that he would take you in, because you had nowhere else to go. So, when Johnny opened the door and his jaw all but fell to the floor, you took that as a compliment.

“Hi.” You said, breathless, and with a sheepish smile to go along with it. 

“Hey.” Johnny blinked at you, confused. He steps aside, allowing you to come in. Grabbing your bags, you cross the threshold and sighed as you dumped them onto the couch, collapsing after them.

“What are you doing here?” Johnny asked. “When you left, I kinda expected you to leave forever.”

“I was expecting that too.” You said. “But life has a funny way of kicking you up the ass.”

“What happened?”

“He left me.” You sighed, and patted the empty space on the couch next to you. Johnny sat down, and you told him the entire story. You told him about the ring Jaehyun had thrown at you, about the weeks he took away his things and couldn’t look at you without shaking. You told him about how you had nobody to talk to, as every friend you had was a mutual friend of his that dropped you after hearing the news, and the only one you could talk to was moving onto better things and you didn’t want to burden them. 

You told him about the lonely nights, the memories replaying in front of you. The aching feeling in your heart as you think of how he might be feeling. The deep regret for it all, and the constant wishing that you could take it all back, as amazing as it was. You told him everything, leaving no detail unrevealed. 

“That,” You concluded. “That, Johnny Seo, is what I’m doing here. I couldn’t stand being in that place anymore. I sold it, and packed up everything I had to come out here in the hopes that you would take me in. Because, after all this time, you are still my best friend, and the only one I have right now.”

That was when you broke down. It wasn’t due to anything specific; it was just a sheer build-up of events that were so raw and bloody that you bottled it all up, letting them cut away at your psyche until it reached its limit and any other event -- like the prospect of you being homeless in an unfamiliar city -- was enough to push you to tears. Johnny reacted immediately, pulling you into his chest as his arms found their home around you. You sobbed hard into his grey Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt, making it a deeper grey as the tears seep into it. Johnny soothed you, running his hands through your hair and shushing you in a gentle tone.

“Hey.” He cooed. “Hey, it’s alright. Don’t cry. It’s all gonna be okay.”

“What am I gonna do?” You whimpered into the crook of his neck. “I’m all alone in a city I don’t know, crying on the doorstep of a guy she rejected just so that she could return to a relationship that would break down.”

“You aren’t alone.” Johnny sighed.

“Maybe I should just go, and stay in a hotel somewhere-”

“No.” Johnny insisted, cutting you off. “You’re not going anywhere. You can stay here as long as you need until you get on your feet. I’m not gonna let you sleep in some cheap motel. My place is yours, and always will be.”

You pulled your face away from his neck, looking at him with tearful eyes. Your lips were centimetres from his, and there was a pounding in your heart and a sickening tension in your stomach every time you saw his eyes flicker to your lips. His pulse was quickening, you could feel it on your back as his arms were still wrapped around you. He was starting to fidget, but at the same time, he didn’t give you any chance to move away.

“Do you mean that?” You asked, breathing on him. He bit his lip nervously, nodding quickly.

“Y-yeah.” Johnny stuttered. “Please, stay here. With me.”

“Thank you.” You breathed a sigh of relief, hugging him tightly. You could feel Johnny’s heartbeat going about as quickly as yours was. You started to smile then, finally finding that one little ray of hope that you were going to milk for as long as possible. “Thank you so much. I really appreciate this.”

“You’re welcome.” Johnny mumbled. “You know I’d do anything for you. I l-”

“Oh, and uhm. I just wanna make clear, I still mean what I said to you.” You said, smiling sheepishly again. Johnny’s face fell slightly, hearing and remember what it was you had told him. “As much as I love you, and I  _ do  _ love you a lot… I just can’t do that to anyone. I just can’t hurt him, even if I already have done. I know that’s really confusing, but, do you still get me?”

“Yeah.” Johnny nodded, going quiet. “It’s all still raw. And, we have a lot of history.”

“Exactly.” You agreed. “So, friends?”

From then, you and Johnny had agreed to be friends. Johnny let you live with him, and accommodated things to you. He even went as far as to sleep on the couch every night to let you have the bed. Which he hated, especially on the nights you would wake up screaming bloody murder from one of your latest nightmares, and he wanted nothing more than to hold you close and tell you it would all be alright. But, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t let himself ruin the friendship you were cultivating.

So as you would wake up night after night, fear in your eyes as memories danced around you in a new, vicious light, Johnny would be laying on the couch down the hall, holding himself back. And when you get up in the morning and note the bags under his eyes, he wouldn’t tell you about the hours he had woken himself in a panic every time you would scream, cry, and plead for Jaehyun to come back to you. He would laugh, passing off a joke about how he had a late night. 

That was how it was. And, that was how you expected it to be for a long while.


	2. II

Your alarm clock goes off, signalling a brand new day. Your tired eyes flicker open as you reach over to silence the sound of your phone. Sighing deeply, you push back the memories of another sleepless night as you slowly sit up. Rubbing your eyes, you take in your surroundings; the morning sun streams in through the slits of Johnny’s blinds, the clothes in the hamper are nearly spilling over, and your makeup is strewn around the dresser. 

After sitting in bed for five minutes, you slowly drag yourself out of bed and head for the shower to wake yourself up. Grabbing a fresh pair of underwear, you plod groggily to the bathroom. You let the water run for a little while, stripping off as it warms up and stepping under the water as steam starts to fill the room. Normally, someone would turn the temperature down a few notches, as the water is searing hot against your skin. But, with the way you had been feeling lately, you could care less how hot the water is. 

You wash yourself with one of Johnny’s shower-gels; one of the manly looking bottles that promised to wake you up. You rinse out your hair, soaking it before washing it with an apple-scented shampoo. Then, after lathering for a few minutes, you wash off the suds before rinsing off the shower-gel. Then, not wanting to waste any more water, you turn off the shower and step out. Grabbing a towel from the rack, you wrap it around your frame and tighten it. 

You are about to leave the bathroom, before you feel your stomach churning. You groan, grasping at your stomach as bile rises up your throat. You are lucky enough to scramble over to the toilet before you bring up the contents of last night’s pizza. Gripping at the porcelain bowl, tears fill your eyes as you heave. It leaves a horrible feeling in your mouth, as you sit back from the bowl and shiver slightly in your towel. 

Slowly standing up, you flush the toilet before washing your mouth out with a glass of water. You groan again, as the taste doesn’t go away. Sighing, you gather your clothes and leave the bathroom. You drop your clothes into the spilling hamper, making a mental note to do your laundry. Then, moving over to the closet, you pick out some comfortable clothes -- a tank-top and a pair of black leggings. Drying off your hair and putting it in a rough ponytail, you leave the bedroom to get some breakfast.

As you enter the kitchen, you see Johnny slumped over the counter island, drinking coffee and munching tiredly on a slice of toast. You smile sheepishly at him, and he returns the smile.

“Good morning.” You say to him, as you head over to the cupboard to get out a bowl to make some cereal. You also grab one of the many mugs from the cupboard, pouring yourself a coffee. It probably wouldn’t get the taste out of your mouth, but it would definitely wake you up a bit more. You notice the bags under Johnny’s eyes and his tired frown, and chuckle softly.

“Another late night?”

“Yeah.” Johnny says, chuckling meekly. Grabbing the box of cereal, you pour some out before putting the box back and walking over to the refrigerator to get the milk. You quickly check the date on the carton before sniffing it, and once you confirm it’s still good, you go back to the bowl and pour the milk in. After putting the milk back, you grab a spoon and bury it under the cereal, using your free hand to grab the cup of coffee and sit down by Johnny.

“How did you sleep?” Johnny asks.

“Not well.” You frown, shaking off the nightmares. “Oh. And, I threw up this morning.”

“Damn.” Johnny says. “That’s no good, you must be getting sick.”

“Maybe. Have we got anything I can take? My mouth tastes like ass.”

Johnny laughs at the last statement, before shaking his head. “Nope. Do you want me to go get you something?”

“Nah. I got work in an hour, I can get something on my way.”

“Alright then.” Finishing a slice of toast, he picks up the other slice and, using his free hand, drops his plate into the sink. “I gotta head out - a client has a wedding down near the beach that they want me to photograph.”

“Oh. All day?”

“No, just the ceremony. They’re rich enough folks that they hired two photographers. Someone else is gonna cover the reception. I should be back by around three, if the traffic is good. What time do you get off?”

“Four.” You reply. “And, before you ask, don’t worry about giving me a ride back here. I know the city well enough to get around.”

“Already?” Johnny smiles. “She’s all grown-up. Well, have a good day, and call me if you need anything.”

“Will do, and you also.” Giving Johnny a small wave, you watch as he grabs his camera and tripod sitting near the front door and heads out for the day. You sit in silence as you eat your food, trying not to focus too much on your churning stomach.

You throw up once more right before you leave the house, both lucky and unlucky enough to catch it all in the kitchen sink. Scrunching your nose, you rinse out the sink and douse the area in bleach, hoping the smell would be gone by the time Johnny gets back. But, in case it didn’t, you scribbled out a note for Johnny to apologise. Heading out the door, you stick the note up before leaving the apartment building. 

Hailing a cab, you point the driver in the direction of the drug store. You relax back in your seat as you watch the cityscape pass you by. Thankfully, the drug store wasn’t far away, and your place of work wasn’t too far from the drug store. 

Paying the cab driver, you get out as you stare at the sign above the store. Going inside, you note how small the store was. Thankfully, you knew what you wanted, and so you traverse the store with ease. But, on your way to the section you needed, another section catches your eye that stops you in your tracks.

_ Pregnancy care. _

As you stare at the pregnancy tests before you, thoughts fill your head.  _ Surely, you couldn’t possibly be..?  _ Thinking back over the past few months, you notice how you hadn’t had your periods. On top of that, you had been gaining more weight. And, the sudden sickness could also be a factor. But, surely this couldn’t be the reason. After all, you  _ had  _ used protection with both of them. And, you were on birth control. 

But, the worry was already in your head. Sighing, you grab a test from the shelf. Then, you get the medicine you wanted, and head over to the counter to pay. The older woman behind the counter quickly notes the pregnancy test as she rings you up, and can’t hide her smile.

“Are we expecting?” She asks.

“I don’t know.” You mumble, fumbling for money in your purse. 

“Are we  _ hoping  _ to expect?”

“I.. don’t know.” You say again, taking the bag from the counter. The cashier frowns slightly, not knowing what to say.

“Oh. Well, whatever the result, I hope it’s what you want.”

“Thanks.” You say quietly, before quickly leaving the store and heading in the direction of your workplace. As you walk, the doubt sits at the forefront of your mind, eating away at you. Gritting your teeth, you come to a decision: when you got to work, you’d take the test, and possibly worry about the result later. But, you certainly wouldn’t let it get to you right at this moment. 

You finally get to work, a small restaurant on a busy street corner. As busy as the street corner was, the restaurant you worked was mainly occupied by the elderly taking advantage of the cheap breakfasts, or struggling families making the most of the cheap dinners. Right now, it wasn’t very busy, which gave you just enough time to get yourself ready for the working day.

As you walk through the restaurant to get changed in the back, you smile at your co-worker, fellow waitress Wendy, and your manager, Taeil.

“Good morning, Y/N.” Taeil greets, as you head into the back of the restaurant. 

“Hey -- before I clock in, can I use the bathroom?”

“Of course. Don’t take long.”

Heading for the bathroom, you enter the small room and lock the door. Putting down the toilet lid, you place the bag down and stand at the sink, resting your hands on the sides. Not wanting to waste time, you quickly pull out the pregnancy test.

“Don’t worry about it too much.” You tell yourself, as you stare down at the box. “I’m sure everything’s fine. And, if you  _ are,  _ then that’s.. that.”

Moving the bag off the toilet, you take the test out of the box and lift the toilet lid. Your heart pounds in your chest as you take the test, holding the stick under you as you pee. You hope that you are following the instructions, otherwise you just wasted a dollar-fifty. But, after re-reading the instructions as you sit on the toilet, you see that you’re following them exactly. 

Finishing up, you set the test down by the sink and refuse to look at it. Bracing yourself, you feel your stomach churning again, mostly from the nerves more than anything else. In the meantime, you get out the box of pills to help your nausea. Reading the instructions, you swallow down the recommended dose with a small bit of water from your hand. 

Two minutes pass before you think to check the results of the test. You heave a sigh, preparing yourself for the result. “Don’t be a pussy, Y/N.” Looking down at the test, your heart skips a beat as two blue lines look back at you.

“ _ Oh. _ ” You mumble, voice cracking slightly as you feel a lump rising in your throat. “ _ That’s  _ not what I was expecting.”

Quietly, you clean up after yourself. Leaving the bathroom, you head over to your work locker to shove the test and box of pills inside, and pull out your work uniform. Putting it on, you take a deep breath and prepare yourself for facing the outside world.

“Hi Y/N.” You didn’t even notice the chef, Jungwoo, until he made himself now. The blonde-haired boy smiles waves shyly at you, as you smile sheepishly back at him.

“Are you okay?”

“Hey, Jungwoo. I, uh…” You sigh, not knowing how to start telling people your news. “I just found out that I’m pregnant.”

“Oh.” Jungwoo says, taken slightly aback by the news. He doesn’t know what to say. “Uhm, congrats? Or not, judging by your face.”

You don’t know how to respond, so you just smile sheepishly again. “Do you know whose it is?”

“No.” You sigh. “It’s either my roommate, or my ex-boyfriend.”

“I see.”

“But, I used protection with both of them. And, I’m on birth control.”

“Maybe there was a defect?” Jungwoo suggests. “I don’t know. I’m not really experienced in these sorts of things.”

“Hmm.” You huff, unsure what to think. “I don’t know.”

“Y/N.” Taeil calls out as he enters the kitchen. “Come on, get started.”

“Yeah, I’m coming.” You say, straightening yourself out before you head towards the front of the restaurant to start your shift. Before you can leave the kitchen however, Taeil stops you, grabbing your arm softly.

“Are you okay? You don’t look so well.”

“I’m fine.” You deflect. “Just feeling a bit sick. But, I’m ready to work.”

“So long as you’re sure.” Taeil says. “If you want to go home, just say the word.”

“It won’t come to that.” You say, heading out to begin your shift. Greeting Wendy, she also checks your condition, and you also tell her that you’re fine to work. Putting on a smile, you go through the motions -- getting the customers’ orders, heading out back to Jungwoo to relay the order and take out any outgoing food to waiting customers, ring up checks, rinse and repeat. 

As the lunchtime buzz rolls around, you start feeling faint. Groaning softly, you sit on one of the empty booths and rest your head on your arms, waiting for the dizzy spell and churning stomach to subside. Wendy sits opposite you, frowning softly.

“You alright? You want a break?” She asks, tilting her head in concern. You groan as you lift up your head. 

“Yeah..” You mumble, trying to build up your energy. “Yeah, I’m good. I can keep-”

Eyes widening, you feel vomit rising in your throat again and cover your mouth. Getting up, you quickly run out back to the bathroom where you throw up into the toilet. Heaving out the contents of your stomach, tears fill your eyes as your throat burns. The horrible taste returns.

Sighing, you lean weakly against the porcelain bowl. You’re exhausted, and your heart is telling you to get up and tell Taeil you can’t work anymore today. But, you couldn’t do that. You weren’t ready to let this get to you, not yet. You are going to put on a brave face, and persist through the next four hours. 

“Y/N.” You hear Taeil’s voice behind you, as he stands in the doorway. You don’t turn your head to look at him, you simply remain slumped by the toilet bowl. “Wendy says you were sick. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah.” You lie, getting yourself back on your feet. Flushing the toilet, you wash your mouth out with water before putting on your brave face. “I made it through three hours without a sick spell, I can get through another four.”

“If you’re sure.” Taeil warns. “But, if you’re sick again, you tell me. I don’t want you overworking yourself.”

“I’ll be fine.” You promise, heading back out to work again. As Wendy gives you concerned glances, you assure her that everything is okay. But, that doesn’t stop both Wendy and Taeil’s wary eyes watching your every move. As more hours pass, you feel your energy dropping. After two hours, you’re sick again.

“That’s it.” Taeil sighs, as he watches you slump over the toilet bowl for a second time. “I’m clocking you out early. Wendy will have to cover the rest of your shift, get your stuff and-”

“No.” You insist, getting up again. “Taeil, please. I’m okay, I can work.”

“Y/N..”

“Taeil.”

“Y/N…” Taeil huffs. “You’re stubborn. Very stubborn. I commend that. Fine. If you say you’re fine, I’ll let you work. But, one more sick spell, and you’re going home. No buts.”

“No buts.” You nod your head, allowing him the luxury. Heading back out, you once again get back to your shift, reassuring Wendy that you really are okay, and can finish the next two hours with ease. And, you do, thankfully. 

With no energy to walk, you hail a cab to take you home. Getting in, you tell the driver early on that you’re tired and don’t feel like talking much, and he is sympathetic and doesn’t make small talk. You thank the gods when you see Johnny’s apartment building come into view, and Johnny’s car parked outside it.

Paying the driver, you pull yourself out of the car and into the building. Dragging yourself up the stairs to the apartment, the first thing you notice is that the note on the door is gone. As you enter the apartment, music pours from the speakers as Johnny makes himself busy in the kitchen.

“Hey.” He calls out, not facing you as you drop your key into the bowl. “I ordered your favourite from that Chinese place we ate last week. Is that good?”

“Mm.” You hum as you drag yourself over to the couch. Johnny sees you collapse on the couch in his peripheral vision, and walks over to you.

“Y/N?” Johnny asks, voice full of concern. “Are you alright? I saw your note on the door, you were sick again?”

“I was sick twice at work too.” You say weakly, grabbing the blanket that was folded on the back of the couch and throwing it roughly on yourself. Johnny grabs the corners and straightens out the blanket, making sure you’re comfortable.

“Twice? You really must be coming down with something.” Johnny frowns, placing a hand on your forehead. “You have a bit of a fever. Luckily, I picked up some meds-”

“It’s not that, Johnny.” You sigh, too drained to sit up. “I’m… I’m pregnant.”

“You’re what?” Johnny asks, looking at you confused.

“I’m pregnant.”

“Are… are you sure?” Johnny asks, mumbling as his eyes go wide. 

“See for yourself, the test’s in the bag.” You mumble, feeling your eyes close. Johnny crouches down and rifles through the bag, pulling out the test. You hear him swallow loudly as he looks at the result, and sets the test back down inside the bag. 

“Oh.” He whispers. “Uhm. That’s.. new?”

“Mhm.”

“Do you know how far..?” He asks.

“Probably a few months? I don’t know.” You yawn, feeling sleep slowly take over you. 

“Do you know whose it is?”

“No.” You say. “I don’t really know. I have an idea, but..”

“But?”

“Johnny, I’m really tired right now.” You sigh, pulling the blanket closer to your chest as you shiver slightly. “I just want to sleep for a little while. Can you take care of my food when it gets here?”

“Of course, yeah.” Johnny says, standing up from his crouched position. “Do you want me to get you anything?”

“A glass… a glass of water, maybe?” You ask.

“Yeah, sure.” You hear Johnny’s footsteps fade as he heads towards the kitchen, you hear a cupboard open and close and a tap running. Then, the music gets a little softer, as Johnny’s footsteps get louder and he places the glass on the coffee table.

“Here.”

“Thank you.” You mumble. “I’ll only sleep for a little while. I promise.”

“Yeah, of course.” Johnny says. “I’m right here if you need me.”

“Thank you, baby.” 

Hearing you call him baby makes a lump rise in Johnny’s throat, which he swallows down quickly and doesn’t talk about it. You feel the couch dip slightly at your feet, as you assume Johnny sits down. The sounds around you slowly drown out as sleep takes over you. When you wake up, it’s dark outside, but there’s warm lighting inside. You hear the shower running, and when you look over at the table to see the empty glass with a note sat next to it, you put two and two together.

You don’t get to read the note however, as Johnny is soon out of the shower dressed in a grey t-shirt and sweatpants. He smiles when he sees you awake, and sits down next to you, resting his hand on your leg. 

“Hey, you.” Johnny hums. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Yeah.” You grumble. “How long was I out?”

“About four hours?” Johnny says. “It’s eight now, you got home around half-four?”

“Ah.” You say. “What happened while I was asleep?”

“Nothing major. The food came, I already ate. I put your food in the microwave, do you want me to heat it up?”

“No, I got it.” You say, throwing the blanket off of yourself and pushing yourself upwards off of the couch. 

“Are you sure?” Johnny asks, warily getting up. “I don’t mind-”

“It’s fine, Johnny.” You insist. “I’m fine.”

“Alright. I’ll be watching, though.” Johnny’s eyes don’t stray from watching you enter the kitchen and prepare your food. You keep telling him that you’ve got it, but, he says that keeping an eye on you helps him feel at ease, so you don’t tell him to stop. Johnny breathes a sigh of relief when you make it back to the couch safely, and takes your tray from your hands to let you sit down. Once comfortable, he sets the tray on your lap and keeps an eye trained on you as you eat.

“How are you?” He asks. “Is anything..  _ happening _ .. in there?

“No.” You answer. “I’m keeping it down, which is good.”

“Good.” Johnny smiles softly. “Uhm. You mentioned earlier that you don’t know how far along you are?”

“A few months, possibly.” You repeat yourself, mouth full of food. Swallowing the food, you continue. “Let’s see. It all went down in June, I came here in August. Now, it’s September.. three months, maybe?”

“And you’re only finding out now?”

“I’ve read stories of women that don’t know they’re pregnant until the baby comes out, Johnny.” You tell him. “I guess I’ve just had too much on my mind to think about it. Besides, I figured since I take birth control and we used protection, we’d be okay.”

“There could have been a defect.” Johnny says.

“Yeah, obviously there must have been.” You sigh. “Anyways, I  _ also  _ said I don’t know whose it is.”

“But you have an idea.” Johnny insists.

“Yeah. I feel like it’s probably Jaehyun’s.”

Johnny’s heart drops slightly. “How are you so sure? We did it as well.”

“I’ve had a scare with him before.” You confess. You tell Johnny about the time when, about a month or so after Jaehyun first moved in, you found out you were pregnant. You and Jaehyun were shocked, of course. You weren’t trying to have a kid, not yet. But you also wanted to make it through to the end. In truth, both of you were pretty excited to raise a kid together, as you both thought you were strong enough to. However, at your first scan, you were told that it was an ectopic pregnancy, and you weren’t actually pregnant. You were crushed, going back to your apartment alone where you broke the news to Jaehyun. You both cried a lot that day, and a few times after that.

“Oh.” Johnny says, rubbing your calf sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s fine. It happened a long time ago.” You brush it off. “But, I’m sure that this time, it’s possible that it’s his.”

“Right.”

“Does that make you upset?” You ask, noting Johnny’s frown, which he quickly replaced with a forced smile. But, that smile quickly fades.

“I can’t say it doesn’t.” He sighs. “But, if it is his, there’s nothing I can do, is there?”

“I’m sorry, Johnny.” You pout. “I’m sure it’ll happen for you eventually. Of course, not with me. But, with somebody else that adores you like I do.”

“Right.” Johnny nods, turning away from you slightly. “That… helps.”

“Anyways.” You say, finishing your food and setting the tray down on the table before laying back down. “I’m going to have to tell Jaehyun, of course. That is, if he even wants to talk to me.”

“If you tell him straight what’s going on, he’s gotta listen. Probably.”

“Yeah.” You sigh. “That’s the hardest bit, getting him to talk to me.”

“Good luck. I’m here if you need me.”

“Thanks.” Getting off the couch, you head towards the bedroom. Johnny had kindly moved your things to the bed, which you silently thank him for as you get your phone out of your bag. Rifling through the contacts, you click on Jaehyun’s name and hold the phone to your ear as it rings. There’s no answer, and you sigh. Not bothering to try him again, your next bet is Jihyo. But, sadly she has no clue either. Heaving another sigh, you go with your next, and final bet: Lucas.

Holding your phone to your ear, you’re relieved as Lucas picks up the phone. His deep voice runs through the line. “Hello?”

“Lucas?” You say, noting the noise around him. You obviously caught him at the worst time. “It’s Y/N. Can we talk?”

“Y/N?” Lucas asks, surprised to hear from you. There’s some bitterness in his voice, but you expected that from Jaehyun’s closest friend. But, thankfully, Lucas is kind enough to give you his time. “Uh… give me a second.”

The sound around him gets quieter, as you assume he went into the back. “Make it quick, it’s a rush out there and I don’t think Xiaojun can handle it alone.”

“Right. Uhm, do you know where Jaehyun is?”

“Jaehyun? Why?” 

“I need to speak with him.”

“Why?” Lucas repeats. “Y/N, you’ve done and said enough to him lately.”

“Lucas, please just tell me where he is. It’s important.”

“What’s so important?”

“I’m pregnant with his kid.” You blurt out. “Or at least, I think it’s his kid.”

There’s a pause before Lucas says something. “Oh.”

“Now will you  _ please  _ tell me where he is?”

“Fine.” Lucas sighs. “Well, when he left you, he stayed with me for a while. Then, about two months ago, he moved to London with Joy.”

“Joy?”

“His new girlfriend.” Lucas clarifies. “First month with me, he met Joy whilst working the bar. She’s a bit of a regular I guess; I only ever see her about every three months. She and Jaehyun hit it off quickly, and they got together near the end of July. And went off to London early August.”

“That  _ is  _ quick..”

“Well, he’s not the only one who wanted an escape, Y/N.” Lucas mutters. “Jaehyun calls every few weeks, the last I heard he still lived there, in Camden.”

“Camden?”

“Yeah. He works in a coffee shop, like the Lit major he is.”

“Great.” You take a mental note of things. “Thanks, Lucas.”

“I gotta go, but before I do - where did you run off to?” He asks.

“Um… I went back to LA.”

“With  _ him _ ?”

“Yeah. Lucas, he was the only person I could think of that would-” Lucas doesn’t let you say your peace, cutting you off by hanging up the phone. “...take me in.”

Sighing, you switch off your phone. Throwing it on the bed, you lay back and stare at the ceiling. Jaehyun wasn’t even in the States anymore, he was in a whole new city, a whole new  _ life _ .

You pull yourself up, heading out to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Johnny hasn’t moved, except to clear up your plate. He offers a smile when he sees you, which you return sheepishly.

“How’d it go? Did you talk to him?”

“No.” You sigh, walking further into the kitchen as you get a glass from the currently-draining glasses and rinse it out before filling it with chilled water from the fridge. “I ended up calling a friend back in New York. Jaehyun’s best friend, by the way, who told me Jaehyun’s living in London.”

“In London?”

“With his new girlfriend, Joy.” You sigh, feeling only slightly jealous. You hadn’t admitted it, but London was always yours and Jaehyun’s plan. After graduating college, the two of you would move out there and start up a blog together, documenting your starving artist cliche out in one of the most artistic cities you could think of. But,  _ obviously _ , that didn’t work out.

“Well, what now?”

“I should probably fly out there and talk to him myself, since he won’t answer his phone.” You suggest, leaning against the counter, glass in hand.

“Really? You’re going all the way out there just to talk to him?”

“I have to, Johnny.” You say. “Not that I’m expecting him to drop everything to be by my side the entire time. But, if this child is his, he deserves to know.”

“But he’s in a whole new country, with a whole new life.” Johnny persists. “Is it  _ really  _ worth it?”

“Johnny.” You huff. “You said you’d do anything for me, right? Well, please. Help me with this. Lucas didn’t exactly go into full disclosure when I told him where I am and  _ who  _ I’m currently staying with.”

“Okay.” Johnny sighs, patting the empty seat on the couch. You sit down, placing your glass down on the table. “Do you know where he lives, generally?”

“Lucas told me he’s living in Camden, working in a coffee shop.” You say, taking your glass from the table to drink a sip of water.

“Okay. That works out great.” Johnny says, pleased. “I have a friend out in London, Namjoon. He actually works in Camden himself, he owns a record store.”

“Very vintage.” You giggle softly. “Do you think you can talk to him for me?”

“Yeah, of course.” Johnny smiles. “Namjoon owes me some favours, I’m positive if I put on my sweet voice, he’ll help you out when you get there.”

“Thank you so much.” You reach over, wrapping your arms around Johnny. You feel Johnny’s heart rate quicken, but you don’t question it as your heart beats twice as fast as his. Pulling away, you smile excitedly at him. “Okay, I’m gonna go and book the next flight. You talk to your friend.”

“Yeah, on it.” Getting up, you head back into the bedroom to book your flight. You’re gone for a little while before you’re soon back on the couch again to confirm your details. Johnny is just getting off the phone as you come back.

“Yeah. Yeah, she’s just coming back in, I’ll let her know. Thanks, Joon.” You hear Johnny say, before he hangs up the phone and puts it back in his pocket. He then smiles at you as you sit down.

“The next flight is tomorrow at nine, so I booked it. How are things on your end?”

“Namjoon says he’ll help out. Funnily enough, he knows the place Jaehyun works, which is right down the street from his store. Jaehyun goes into his store often, too.”

“Really?” You say, before it all clicks. “Makes sense, when we were together he was always wanting new LPs for the turntable.”

“Anyways, Namjoon also said you can stay with him for as long as you need to when you’re out there.”

“For real?” You grin. “Oh, that helps a lot. I’ll definitely make sure to thank him when I see him.”

“He’s gonna pick you up at the airport -- well, it’s either him, or his boyfriend, Jin. Let me pull up a picture so you know how to look for.” Johnny gets his phone out again, flicking through his photo album until he finds what he’s looking for, and passes the phone over to you.

“This one is Namjoon.” Johnny says, pointing to the blonde guy with round glasses on his face and a humble grin. Johnny then points to the taller man with brown hair, looking at the blonde with loving eyes. “The guy next to him is Jin.”

“Got it.” You nod, taking in their faces. “So, either one of them is gonna get me tomorrow.”

“Yep. They’ll take you straight to him.” Johnny confirms. “Anyways, you should probably get yourself packed and off to bed since you have an early flight.”

“Okay.” You reach over to give Johnny one more hug. “Goodnight, Johnny.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.” Johnny says quietly as you pull back. Picking up your glass, you head back to the bedroom where you almost immediately crash out. Johnny gets you up at seven the next morning, hustling you to move your ass whilst he packs a bag for you. By eight, you’re hustled into the car as Johnny drops you to the airport. And, by nine, you’re on your way to London.


	3. III

Music flows calmly through your headphones, as you look out of the small plane window at the clouds passing you by. You are still a little drowsy, and the music was doing its best to lull you into a deep sleep. You would be on the plane for a little while; sleep would definitely help to ease your nerves.

It’s nighttime when the plane lands at Heathrow. You feel somebody shake you, waking you from your slumber. As your eyelids flicker open, you gaze at the person who shook you awake -- a young man, possibly in his early-twenties, smiles at you kindly.

“Hey sleepyhead.” He chuckles. “We’ve landed, time to go.”

“Oh. Thank you for waking me.” You blush, unbuckling the belt and standing up. The guy shuffles out into the aisle, reaching to the overhead compartment to get his bag. 

“Which bag is yours?” He asks. “I’ll get it down for you.”

“You’re so kind.” You smile sheepishly. “Uhm, it’s the small black one.”

“This one?” He asks, passing down the bag you described. 

“Yes, thank you.” You say, taking the bag from him. “I hope I wasn’t sleeping all over you.”

“It’s no problem, and I didn’t really mind. By the looks of things, you needed the sleep.”

“Yeah, I did.” You say, bashfully. “You’re so kind; what’s your name?”

“Taemin.” He introduces himself, flashing another smile at you. “And you are?”

“Y/N.”

You and Taemin talk for a while as you both walk off of the plane into the arrivals terminal. Taemin tells you the reason for visiting London; he lives here, living with his boyfriend Kibum in a more expensive part of town. Taemin lives a rather lavish life as an editor for a fashion magazine, which is how he ended up meeting his soulmate -- one rather drunken night after one of Milan’s biggest fashion shows. 

“And you?” Taemin asks, as the two of you walk through the airport. “What brings you to London?”

“I have to talk to someone.” You say. “It’s something important.”

“I see.” Taemin says. You both exit the airport, being met with warm summer air. “Well, I’ll be going now. Here’s my card, if you ever want to chat. You seem like a nice person.”

Taemin hands over a small business card; black fancy letters printed on white cardboard. 

“Thank you.” Putting the card in your pocket, you search around the road closest to the airport as you try to spot Namjoon in the crowd of people hustling into cabs trying to get home. Your eyes soon land on a small blonde wearing round frame glasses, leaning against a black Mercedes. You assume that he is the one you were looking for, so you say goodbye to Taemin quickly before walking towards the blonde.

“Are you Namjoon?” You ask, as the blonde’s face brightens up. “Hi, I’m Y/N? Johnny’s friend.”

“Of course. Hop in, I’ll drive us back to mine.” Namjoon’s voice is deep, but warm. He is gracious, taking your bag to put it in the backseat as you climb into the front. Climbing into the driver’s side, it isn’t long until the two of you are back on the road. Soft melodies hum through the car’s speakers, as the London nightlife passes you by.

“So, how do you know Johnny?” You ask. “He never told me about you until yesterday.”

“We met in college.” Namjoon says, eyes trained on the road. “We both studied photography. We were roommates, too. Of course, I left a year ago after getting an internship at a magazine.”

“Ah, cool. I assume you aren’t working there anymore?”

“No. I soon realised that I preferred photography more as a hobby. I’m more into music, but without a degree I can’t really do much, so I saved up and opened a record store.”

“That’s cool also.” You smile. “Well, me and Johnny have been best friends for years. But, when we went to different colleges we lost touch, until recently -- I assume Johnny told you all about that, huh?”

“Yeah.” Namjoon chuckles. “Every detail. This guy you’re going to see, he’s your ex?”

“Yeah. I found out yesterday that I’m-”

“Pregnant, with your ex’s kid?”

“I’m sure it’s his kid.” You say. “It has to be his, we’ve been through this before.”

“Maybe you should get it checked out before you start putting the responsibility on this guy. I mean, he left you because you cheated -- how do you think he’d take it if he found out you got pregnant by the guy you cheated with, even though you’ve already told your ex the baby is his?”

“I’m sure it’s Jaehyun’s. It’s my gut feeling.”

“Doctors may feel different.” Namjoon mumbles, as he turns into the last stretch of road. “But, I can’t force you to do anything. It’s your decision, and your life.”

The car goes quiet, as Namjoon pulls into a small apartment complex. Turning off the engine, Namjoon gets your bag out and hands it to you. The pair of you take the elevator up to the third floor, and walk to apartment number five. Pulling out the key, Namjoon opens the door and flicks on the light, allowing you the privilege of entering first.

“Jinnie? Hon, I’m home!” Namjoon calls out, putting the key into the bowl of various other keys. “I brought our guest!”

“Oh!” You hear a voice, and soon the taller, brown-haired guy you saw from the picture makes his appearance, appearing from the hallway. “Welcome home, Joon. And, hello Y/N. I’m Seokjin, please call me Jin. Welcome to our home.”

“Thank you, Jin. I’m so grateful that you’re letting me stay. I promise, I’ll only be here for two days at the most.”

“Stay as long as you need to, Y/N.” Jin smiles, taking the bag from your hands. “Namjoon, put the kettle on please. I’m sure Y/N would like a nice cup of tea and to put her feet up.”

“Will do, Jinnie.” Namjoon smiles, moving towards the kitchen. Jin’s smile never fades as his eyes flicker over his boyfriend before he looks back at you again.

“You’ll be staying in the guest room. Usually, that room is reserved for Namjoon’s brother, Yoongi. But, that’s only for emergencies, I’m sure Yoongi can survive a night in a hotel if he must go somewhere.”

“Oh.” You say, not wanting to pry into Namjoon’s family. “Thank you.”

“The guest room, by the way, is down the hallway, first door on the left.” Jin points out the door to you. “And, the bathroom is that door right at the end.”

“Again, thank you.”

“Here’s your tea, Y/N. I put some sugar in it, is that okay?” Namjoon asks, as he sets a pink mug on a coaster on the coffee table.

“Yeah, it’s fine. Thank you, Namjoon.” Sitting down on the couch, you settle into your seat as you hold the mug in your hands, taking a long sip. The tea is hot as it slides down your throat. Your eyes water from the intensity of the heat, but you still let out a hum of appreciation.

“It’s lovely.” You smile. Jin disappears down the hall again, as Namjoon sits on the couch next to you.

“So, what’s the plan for tomorrow?” You ask, setting the mug down.

“From what Jaehyun’s told me, his shift generally starts at ten. I don’t want to drop you off right at ten, so I’m gonna take you there at eleven. The shop usually opens at ten, so I’ll ask Jin to open up for me.”

“Oh, does Jin work with you in the shop?”

“Occasionally. His real job is at a restaurant though, as a chef. But, his shift starts at noon tomorrow.” Namjoon says, as Jin re-enters the room and sit on the couch next to Namjoon.

“Talking about me, hm?” Jin chuckles. Namjoon smiles, turning to face him.

“I was just telling Y/N I’d drop her off at the cafe at eleven; you don’t mind opening up shop tomorrow baby? I’ll be as quick as I can.”

“Yeah, of course. Point the shop out to Y/N, when she’s done at the cafe she can swing on by.”

“Yeah, will do.” Namjoon smiles.

“Y/N, have you eaten? We usually order takeout on weekends, is there anything you want to eat?” Jin asks.

“I have no particular fancies right now. Just order what you usually eat.” You say.

“Alright. Joonie, it’s your weekend to pick. What do you want?”

“Can we get Five Guys?” Namjoon asks rather excitedly.

“Yeah.” Jin chuckles. “Of course we can. Y/N, do you want anything from Five Guys?”

“What’s a Five Guys?” You ask. Namjoon and Jin share a rather worried look.

“Maybe we should get Chinese food instead?” Namjoon asks. “I’m sure Y/N has had Chinese food before. Have you, Y/N?”

“If we’re getting Chinese food, I’ll have the chicken chow mein.”

“Chinese food it is.” Jin says, dialling a number. He excuses himself out of the room for a few minutes whilst he makes the call. You and Namjoon sit in silence until he returns.

The three of you talk late into the night; you fill Jin in on the full details of your trip, including the details of your breakup. Namjoon breaks out a bottle of wine for Jin and himself, and Jin keeps getting you glasses of water so that you don’t feel left out. Namjoon tells you all about he and Jin’s story; they met a year after university, when Jin was working as a bartender at the restaurant he currently works at, and Namjoon was nursing a broken heart. They fell in love after three months, and moved in together after six. By then, Jin had been promoted to chef at the restaurant, and Namjoon was doing rather okay in running his record store.

“That’s a cute story.” You can’t help but gush as the pair of them are now cuddled up on the couch, drunkenly mumbling sweet nothings to each other. Finishing your glass of water, you get up to wash up the glass.

“Don’t worry about the glass.” Jin hiccups, half asleep on Namjoon’s lap. “I can wash that up in the morning.”

“Okay. I’m gonna head to my room, goodnight you two.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.” Namjoon says, and when you’re gone from the room you hear him say to Jin: “Come on, you drunken log. Let’s get you to bed.”

“I don’t wanna go to bed.” You hear Jin whine, before you enter your room and shut the door. Flicking on the light, you look around the rather small room -- it’s a small, rectangular room. You just about had enough room to stand around, but for now it was the perfect size for you to stay in.

You don’t think about unpacking your things -- sleep hits you as soon as you’ve stripped off to your underwear and collapsed onto the bed. You are woken up by the sound of your phone ringing; muffled inside your bag. Groaning, you get up and retrieve the phone from your bag to turn off the alarm that usually would get you up for work.

Checking the time, you see that you had about two hours to shower, get dressed and get something to eat before Namjoon would take you to Jaehyun. That would give you plenty of time to think of what to say to him. Rifling through your bag, you pull out some clean clothes and lay them out on the bed. Grabbing your shirt that you took off the night before, you slip it over your head -- it comes down to the bottom of your panties. It’s not very much, but it’s enough to give you some decency. Then, you slip out of the room quietly and creep towards the bathroom.

As you go to open the bathroom door, you jump out of your skin as Jin appears from the bathroom. He has a towel wrapped around his neck, his hair damp as beads of water drip from the ends. He’s not dressed yet, wearing only a grey t-shirt and black boxer shorts. He smiles tiredly at you before walking back to his and Namjoon’s bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind him.

You enter the bathroom, locking the door behind you. Spying a clean towel hanging on the rack near the shower, you place it on the hamper nearest to the shower as you get the water running. You undress, putting your clothes into a neat pile by the shower before getting under the hot water. You hope that neither Jin nor Namjoon would mind you using some of their shampoo or shower-gel to freshen yourself up. You spend a little while in the shower - twenty minutes at the most, which was more than enough to wash your body and hair, as well as rehearse what you were going to say to Jaehyun when you’d see him.

You turn off the water, watching the steam rise as you pull back the curtain and step out. You grab the towel, wrapping it around your frame before you bend over the shower to wring as much water from your long hair as you could. You regret not packing a hairdryer -- you’d have to resort to towel-drying your hair, which takes longer than you want it to.

After spending an hour in the bathroom, you scurry back to your room to get dressed. You don’t dress up too much -- you stick to the classic jeans-and-a-shirt look that you always seem to wear lately. You push your feet into your black Vans, before exiting the bedroom and exiting the kitchen. The smell of toast hits your nose, and as you spot the plate of toast, your eyes also spot the small post-it next to them.

_ Gone to open up shop. Help yourself! There’s fresh orange juice in the fridge if you want it. - Jin _

Getting out a small tea-plate, you help yourself to three slices of toast. As you sit up by the counter, silently munching on your toast and sipping your juice, Namjoon soon enters the kitchen. He’s showered and clean-shaved, yet not dressed.

“You’re not dressed yet?” You ask, as Namjoon grabs a plate and four slices of toast and sits next to you. He pours himself a half-glass of juice, sipping on that first before he takes a bite of toast.

“No; we’ve still got time.” Namjoon says, mouth full of food. After swallowing, he says: “So, do you know what you’re gonna say?”

“Not really. I’ve gone over it in my head a million and one times, but everytime I try to remember it, it’s gone.”

“I say, just tell him outright. All the nerves are from telling him, once you tell him you won’t have to worry anymore.”

“I’m more scared of his reaction than anything else.” You say, forcing a smile. “I mean, he’s got a whole new life and someone new out here. I could potentially be ruining his life  _ again  _ by essentially digging up the past.”

“But, wouldn’t you rather tell him so that he knows? What if the baby is his, are you going to let your child grow up not knowing who their father is? Or, let their father not know about them?”

“No.” You sigh. “That wouldn’t be fair. I have no choice but to tell him, I’m not letting this trip go to waste.”

“That’s right. Don’t worry too much, it’ll all be easier once it’s out in the open. And besides, me and Jin have your back if you need us, and Johnny too I’m sure.”

“Yeah. Johnny’s the best, I’m so grateful that he’s taken me in.” You smile. Everytime Johnny crossed your mind, your heart can’t help but beat a little louder. And, you knew that Johnny has the same reaction towards you. But, you had already made it clear that, no matter what you felt, you weren’t going back on your word. It just didn’t feel right, not now.

“It’s half ten, Namjoon are you gonna go get ready?”

“I should, it’s a twenty minute drive and traffic gets busy on that stretch of road right about now. Can you get the dishes for me? I won’t be long.” Namjoon gets off the stool, walking off to the bedroom. You collect the dishes, washing them carefully in the sink before putting them on the drying rack. 

Looking back at the now-smaller pile of toast slices, you aren’t sure what to do about them. You don’t want them to go to waste, but you also don’t want to put them in the fridge. So, you manage to find something to put over them to keep them fresh, and leave the toast as it was.

“Ready to go?” Namjoon asks, as he appears from the hallway. He has on a pair of ripped jeans, a white t-shirt and a black jacket. He has his signature glasses on, and a grey beanie to match. Black Converse sit on his feet.

“Yeah.” You say. “Let’s get going.”

You follow Namjoon out of the apartment, down the elevator to the car lot where you both get into his Mercedes. Starting up the ignition, you both put on your seatbelts before Namjoon pulls out into the street. On the drive to the cafe, you look out the window. What was before the nightlife is now a lazy morning. Rows of red and grey brick apartment complexes pass you by, before Namjoon turns onto the main road and things start to liven up.

“There’s my store there.” Namjoon points out the record store as he slowly passes by it. You quickly take in the shopfront, the words  _ Kim’s Vinyls  _ beckon to you. It’s another seven storefronts before Namjoon stops at the traffic lights, pointing out the cafe. 

“It’s just there. It’s all up to you now.” Namjoon smiles encouragingly.

“Thanks, Namjoon. I’ll see you in a little while.”

“Good luck.” You quickly get out of the car, waving goodbye as the lights go green and traffic starts to move again. You get onto the pavement and look up at the cafe before you.  _ Cafe London  _ blinks back at you in white neon lettering, as you are close enough to look through the window without pressing your face into the glass. You almost instantly spot Jaehyun, and your heart stops.

It’s been so long since you had seen him, but how quickly you remember him and can spot him in a crowd of strangers remains the same. You couldn’t see very much; only that his hair had changed from a chestnut brown to a dark black. He also could be slightly taller, but you couldn’t tell. Taking a deep breath, you swallow the lump in your throat and enter the cafe. 

You remain as far back as you can, never taking your eyes off of Jaehyun as you find a corner booth. Jaehyun is extremely busy with customers, so it takes him a little while to notice you staring at him from behind a menu. But, the moment he does take notice of you, your heart drops. Jaehyun’s eyes go wide, and he says something to a co-worker before coming out from behind the counter and hurrying over to you.

“Y/N.” He hisses slightly as he approaches you, standing over you. “What are you doing here?”

“Jaehyun, please. I need to talk to you.” You plead, using all the energy you can muster to not break down right there in front of him. Jaehyun’s gaze is cold; he glares at you through slightly unkempt strands of black hair. His jaw is locked, he appeared to be gritting his teeth. 

“I have nothing to say to you.” He says. “Just go home.”

“No.” You say. “I did not fly ten fucking hours for nothing. Please, just talk to me. Or, at least hear me out.”

Jaehyun sighs, looking away from you. He looks over at the counter of people waiting to pay their tab, or order more food. Then, he looks back at you. Groaning softly, he swallows his pride and sits opposite you. Resting his arms on the table, he refuses to look at you.

“Go on then, I don’t have all day.”

“I…” You hesitate, the words leaving you again. You study Jaehyun’s face, taking in all new details to replace older ones. Brown eyes were replaced with green contacts. He had some dark circles under his eyes, and you couldn’t exactly tell if he was happy with his new life or not. One thing you could tell for certain was that he wasn’t expecting to see you, nor was he happy to.

“I just wanted to say..”

“Yes?”

You sigh. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did.”

“What did you do?”

“I cheated on you.”

“How many times, Y/N?”

“Twice.”

“You aren’t sorry.” Jaehyun sighs. “If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it the second time. If you were  _ sorry _ , you wouldn’t be living with him.”

“Jaehyun, he was the only one who would take me in!” You defend yourself. “I couldn’t live in that place anymore, not on my own. And, all our friends hate me now. Jihyo is the only one who doesn’t, but she’s moved on with her new boyfriend and I didn’t want to intrude.”

“You’re dating him?”

“No.” You say quietly. “We’re friends. I told him I wasn’t going back on my word, that it wouldn’t be right to do that to-”

“To me?” Jaehyun asks, raising his voice at you slightly. “Y/N. We aren’t together anymore. You broke my heart, and I’ve moved on. I’m happy. I have a great girl who loves me and is  _ loyal _ . She knows what you did to me and promised me she would never hurt me like that, and she hasn’t. Y/N, you’re free to date now. Go ahead and date that guy, I don’t care.”

“Jae..”

“You don’t get to call me that anymore.” Jaehyun snaps. “Hearing you call me that… it doesn’t  _ belong  _ to you anymore. Only Joy gets to call me that now.”

“Joy.” You mumble. “Of course. I’m sure she hates me just like everyone else we know.”

“She hasn’t met you, but I doubt she would be fond of you given what I’ve told her.”

“That’s all you think of me now?” You ask, scoffing. “Just a girl who broke your heart. Not like you haven’t broken multiple girls hearts before.”

“I didn’t cheat on any of them with my best friend. Twice.” Jaehyun snaps. Then, he sighs. “Look, maybe you should just go. I have nothing more to say to you.”

“Jaehyun.” You say, the lump rising in your throat. Jaehyun looks up at you, eyes full of hurt. He isn’t very welcoming to you anymore; he wasn’t to begin with, but now he’s even less so. “There’s something else I need to say.”

Again, you hesitate. And, again, what you say next isn’t what you wanted to say:

“I really do hope things get better for you.”

You drop your gaze as you get up, holding back your tears as you leave the cafe. As you walk down the street towards Namjoon’s store, the tears start flowing from your eyes. You harshly wipe them from your cheeks, but they keep falling. Your legs start to wobble as you arrive at the store and push open the door to go inside. You see Namjoon leaning against the counter; his posture immediately changes as you head around the back of the counter. Your knees then buckle as you fall onto Namjoon. He catches you in his arms, and you sob into his chest.

Your stay in London ends that night -- after recent events, it didn’t feel right to stay any longer, so you booked the first flight home. You didn’t talk to Jin or Namjoon very much before you left, only to thank them again for letting you stay and promising that you would keep in touch if you needed them again. On the way to the airport, you tell Johnny that you’re on your way home. Johnny wishes you a safe flight, and he would see you when he got home from work the next day.

At eleven o’clock, you are leaving London. At nine o’clock the next morning, you are landing at LAX. Exhausted, you collect your bag from the overhead compartment and leave the plane, dragging your feet through the airport and to a cab waiting outside. Jet-lagged, you relax into the leather car seat, watching the world pass you by. 

By ten o’clock, you finally arrive back at the apartment. Crossing the threshold, you drag yourself back to your room where you drop your bag on the bed and fall back, instantly crying again. You curl yourself into a ball, sobbing into your bedsheets for a while before Johnny comes home at midday. Johnny could hear you crying when he came into the apartment, and he was by your side in an instant. He immediately climbs onto the bed beside you, pulling you into his chest.

After some more hours of crying, your head is throbbing and your eyes sting. You lay with your head on Johnny’s chest, your arms are wrapped around him as his arms are wrapped around you. You sniffle quietly, trying to focus on the sound of Johnny’s steadily-beating heart to calm you down. It also helps that Johnny is rubbing small circles into your back. 

“Did you tell him?” Johnny mumbles, resting his cheek on top of your head. 

“No.” You sigh. “I couldn’t tell him. It’s just… he was so  _ mean _ , Johnny. I mean, I was expecting him to be given all that I’ve done, but it still hurt. How could I tell him then, with how he was tearing me down?”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Johnny sighs. The two of you go silent. Johnny’s heart gets a little faster. A hole starts to appear in your heart. You were exhausted, your head hurt, but there was something you needed to do right now, something that was gnawing away at you that wasn’t going to go away until you do something about it.

You sit up, looking down at Johnny. You feel him tense up; he looks as if his heart was going to burst. But, without using words he knew exactly what was happening. Sitting up, he brings a hand to your jawline. His fingers softly caress your cheek as he draws you closer to him, planting his lips onto yours. The kiss was sweet, and tender. He is gentle, softly caressing your cheeks as his lips move against yours. 

But soon, you’re pulling away from him. You sigh. “I can’t.  _ We  _ can’t.”

“I know.” He says softly, resting his forehead against yours. “You know I want to, and I’m sure you do too.”

“I do.” You mumble. “But.. I made a promise to myself. I’m not going back on it.”

“Okay.” Johnny says, before he lays back down again and pulls you down with him. You rest your head back on his chest again, as his arms move to wrap around you in a comforting embrace.

“You should get some sleep.” He suggests. “It’s been a long day, and I can tell you’re exhausted.”

“Okay..” You mumble, yawning softly. “Will you still be here when I wake up?”

“Of course.” Johnny says softly. “I’ll stay here waiting for you forever, Y/N. And even longer still.”

You close your eyes, letting sleep pull you into its clutches. You’re asleep for a long time, and when you wake up Johnny is still close. His chest is rising and falling gently as he sleeps. He looks so gentle whilst he slept, it made you smile. You sit up, stretching out your arms as you yawn. You move away slightly, getting up from the bed to get some water for your dry throat. Johnny’s hand catches your arm, and when you turn back to look at him, he’s smiling sweetly at you.

“Good morning.” He hums softly, pulling you back to him.

“Hi.” You say, a blush rising in your cheeks. “How long was I asleep for?”

“Uh.. I’m not too sure. But, you were sleeping through the night.”

“So, a good couple hours at least?” You ask, and Johnny nods. “Okay. I’m gonna get a drink.”

“I’ve got it. A glass of water coming right up.” Johnny gets off the bed, leaving the bedroom quickly. You take the opportunity to get a little more comfortable, resting your head against the pillows. The taste of Johnny’s lips still linger on yours, making you blush a deeper red as Johnny re-enters the room, a glass of water in each hand. He hands you a glass, as he sets the other on the table before getting back on the bed and draping an arm around out. 

“Hey.” He hums again. “I have to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

“And, you can’t get mad at me.” Johnny says. “Do you promise me you won't get mad?”

“Yes.” You promise, chuckling softly. “Johnny, what is it you want to tell me?”

Johnny hesitates for a few seconds, before he confesses: “I told him.”

“You told him?” You ask, confused. But, it all slowly clicks in your head. You sit up, looking at him more seriously.

“Johnny.” You say, your tone more serious. “What did you say? What did you tell him?”

Johnny doesn’t get to answer; he’s interrupted by a knock at the door. Looking back in the direction of the front door, your heart starts to beat rapidly, as questions bounce around your mind. The knocking persists. You get out of bed, and walk towards the front door. Johnny follows you, lingering in the door frame as he watches you open the door to Jaehyun, clutching a black duffel bag with shaking hands and wide eyes.

“ _ You’re pregnant? _ ”


End file.
